تبیان، دستیار زندگی

سلام...
با اجازه دوستان این تاپیک رو زدم که هر کس هر متن با مزه ای داره به زبان انگلیسی رو برامون بذاره که شامل جوک و لطیفه و یا هر چیز دیگه ای میتونه باشه...
منتظر مطالب زیبای دوستان هستم...
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دل خوش عشق شما نیستم ای اهل زمین به خدا معشوقه من بالایی است

The Corporate language!!


"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"


"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"


"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"


"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".


"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"


"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"


"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"


"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"


"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."


"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"


"Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"


"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"


"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"


"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."


"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"


"That’s actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"


"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"

به نام او که آرام قلب من است

به نام او که زندگیم برای او و هستیم فدای او

به نام او که بخشنده و مهربان است

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An epicure, dining at Crewe,

Found a large mouse in his stew.

Said the waiter,"don"t shout and wave it about, 

or the rest will be wanting one, too!"

با سلام

آنشرلی گرامی، بعد از مدتها اومدین به انجمن خودتون، خوش اومدین

کار خوبی کردین که این بحث رو اوردید بالا، این بحث حاوی مطالب بسیار مفیدی برای یادگیری و حتی سرگرمی در زبان انگلیسی هست؛

یا علی  

به نام او که آرام قلب من است

به نام او که هستیم برای او و زندگیم فدای او

به نام او که بخشنده و مهربان است

--------------------------

سلام دوستان

متشکرم رو به آسمان عزیز، یکی از دروس این ترم به شدت رو ما تاثیر گذاشته برای همین مزاحم شدم!

اینم جالبه: 

May I borrow your CD player tonight?” a man asked his neighbor

“Sure! Do you want to listen to some music?”

“No,” he answered, “Tonight I want to have some peace and quiet.”

خدانگهدار

یه روز کانون زبان که بودیم (ترم پیش) دبیرمون اومد تو کلاس و پس از حاضر و غایب کردن به یکی از دوستام گفت :

Are you ready for reading passage ? No sir ! I dont Ready _ My friend answered quickly

به نام او که آرام قلب من است

سلام

خیلیییییی جالب بود....خیلی خیلی خیلی

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

“Wow! That was short,” said her father with sarcasm, “You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”

“Wrong number,” replied the girl.

بوتانیست عزیز اولی خیلییییییی جالب بود...اولش نگرفتم...چند بار خوندم تا بفهمم منظورش چی بوده...

دلتون دریایی 

شب و روزتون رویایی

به نام او که آرام قلب من است

سلام

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap.

After she woke up, she told her husband,

“I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day.

What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it; only to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams”.

بارونی باشید

Which habit of the Boyz irritates Girls most?

1) If u treat Him Nicely ,he says u r in love with Him.

    If u dont ,he says u r PROUD


2)If u Dress Nicely,He thinks u r trying 2 LURE Him.

   If u dont,He says u r from VILLAGE

3)If u Argue with Him ,he says u r Stubborn.

4) If u Keep Quiet,he says u have No Brains.

5) If u r Smarter Than him,he  Will lose Face.

6) If u dint love him,He tries 2 Possess U.

7)If u Love Him ,He Will Try 2 Leave YOU(Very True Huh.....)

8)If u Tell him ur problem,he says u r troublesome

9)If u Hurt him,u r Cruel And If He Hurts u ,u r too Sensitive.

10)If u Flirt with Him,u r Bad And If a guy Flirts wid a girl Den he is Good..

11) If u Tell These Points 2 a guy they ill Swear dat its Not true...nd if u dont share The above points they ill say dat u r selfish.